My solopreneur journey started in 2010 when I sat down with my boss and told him I was stepping down as VP of Sales to… "Start my own thing." Except I wasn't sure what that "thing" was exactly.
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I spent the next seven glorious days figuring out what to create. Then, on day eight, I found out that my husband and I had actually created something together, and it would happen in about nine months.
From that point, for better or for worse, my solopreneur journey has been inseparably linked to the journey of parenthood. In 2011, I gave birth to our son. In 2012, I gave birth to our daughter. And in those chaotic, “workless” early years, my career was much more like a stay-at-home mom than a rising YouEconomy star. However, not wanting to give up on the dream, I devoted every nook and cranny of my beautiful #momlife to building a business, and the moment I sent the e-vite to the fourth party of my daughter's birthday, my solo income exceeded what I earned at the job I left. At that point, I was pretty confident that I had it all figured out.
And then, 15 minutes into my daughter's birthday party, it all fell apart.
The party itself- even checked out most of the boxes:pizza, activities, cake, and even someone dressed as Sleeping Beauty. There was just one problem.
No one came.
Fifteen minutes into the party, I had a terrible realization:I sent out the invitations, but I never checked for RSVPs. In the madness of my growing business, I forgot to see who was coming until no one showed up. Sweating and on the verge of a breakdown, I started calling all of our neighbors. Celebrate with us! Pizza! Cake! The princesses!
In all the hustle and bustle, don't lose sight of what matters most.
That night, after the presents were opened and the candles blown out, I cried to my husband, Michael. How could I have messed this up so badly? How could I have been so focused on work that I failed our daughter? Of course, she wasn't old enough to notice that the attendance was light…but in the end, I was upset about the biggest problem:that I had become so caught up in my work that I had forgotten the most important thing. most important of all. It was the kind of real, raw, inevitable guilt that only comes with a lesson learned the hard way.
Mamapreneur Lesson #1:
If you're not careful, success can have a higher price than you are willing to pay. In all the hustle and bustle, don't lose sight of what matters most.
A year later, with my daughter's fifth birthday fast approaching, we were on high alert. The business had doubled from the previous year, and to prevent anything slipping through the cracks again, Michael decided to take the party off my plate. He rented space at a local gym facility with trampolines and requiring minimal effort for parents. “All we have to do is send out invites, check RSVPs (wink), send rosters, bring a cake and they do the rest! he proclaimed.
I admit. Despite the disaster of the previous year, I was still a little nervous about Dad's birthday arrangement, but with a relentless travel schedule, I had no choice.
When we arrived at the party, Michael walked confidently towards the office. I held my breath as the woman confirmed our reservations. "Great! " she says. "Let's all get ready!" Did you bring your decorations?
Michael proudly handed her a single butterfly-shaped balloon he had picked up on the ride.
"Did you bring any other decorations?" " she asked. I started sweating. "Uh," I said nervously, "We understand you're providing the scenery?" "
" Oh! Oh yes of course,” the woman said. "It's just sometimes...you know, parents want to bring their own themed decorations, plates, tablecloths, etc." But yes of course. We can turn ours off. ”
A few moments later, she walked us back to our party room. The walls were white. The tables had plain paper plates set on plain paper tablecloths. At the front of the room, hovered a single butterfly balloon attached to a chair.
My first instinct must have been horrified; I turned to face Michael, standing next to me, staring at the exact same view…and grinning from ear to ear. He had done it! A birthday party. Then I turned to look at my daughter.
She wasn't there. She was jumping on trampolines with 30 of her best preschool friends.
Mamapreneur Lesson #2:
Let's go. Unleash perfection. Let go of the myth that no one can do it as well as you. Let go of control and let the perfectly capable people around you take control. To have it all, you have to let it go.
My daughter is now 6 years old. And yes, we had a party to celebrate. The party was on a Saturday and I booked a trip to arrive home Friday night with plenty of time to celebrate. The event was in Vegas. We lived in Phoenix. No problem.
Except we moved. At New York. And suddenly there were no flights that would get me back in time. Instead of panicking, I used what I had learned from the previous two birthdays. I gave up on perfection and focused on what mattered most and we decided, to be together, that the whole family would come to Vegas. We had friends join us and we celebrated his sixth birthday by the pool at the MGM Grand. It was awesome.
And in that moment, another solopreneur lesson became very clear:My intertwined life is very different from other moms. The hours are different. The responsibilities are different. Flexibility, freedom and restrictions are different. But while they may be different, that's our normal.
And as long as we never lose sight of what matters, letting go of the nonsense that's holding us back and celebrating together, that's a very beautiful life.
Related: The belief about motherhood that held me back in my career
