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Authentic motherhood, 5 questions to ask yourself.

Before I became a mother, I often thought about what kind of mother I wanted to be. Of course a good mother, who has an eye for her children and family. But also a working mother, because my job is so much fun and life is so expensive. I definitely didn't want to be a mother who wouldn't do anything. And I would continue to exercise. What would certainly not suffer under motherhood was my social life and the things I do in my spare time. Nope. I was going to do it my way and create authentic motherhood for myself.

How do I create my authentic motherhood?

But then baby #1 was born. And two years later baby #2. A lot has changed in the meantime. Especially in the way I could organize and spend my time. Especially after the birth of baby #2. And at the same time, there are all those other mothers who also shape their lives. Some have one, others have four children. And nobody does it the same way. Everyone fills their lives differently.

There are those where it is possible to go to the gym twice a week and have 1000 social activities a month. But there are also a lot of mothers who don't do any of this. While they may want to to a certain extent, but just can't. Maybe for financial reasons. Or just lack of energy. Or because they set priorities differently. Who's to say? Everyone does it in their own way. Right?

Staying close to yourself is difficult

Anyway, what I've learned since becoming a mother is that authentic motherhood is the most difficult thing to do. Authentic means reliable, credible and real. And especially the last one, the real one, is such a tricky one. In this context, of authentic, it actually means doing it as you really are. As you really want it. And that you are faithful to it. True to yourself. Without tricks.

Around me I see many mothers with the same struggle. How do you make sure that you are a good mother to your kids and that you are also good for yourself? Without pursuing something that is impossible for you or comparing yourself to others? Or by doing something that doesn't really suit you? Because if you have to believe the internet, anything is possible and there are many extremes. Don't we make it much more difficult for ourselves?

5 questions I ask myself

In any case, I've stopped looking at how others are doing it. I don't want to be rushed by all kinds of pictures of mothers doing things differently, regardless of what I think of what they do. I have decided to keep asking myself five questions and to plan my life accordingly. So that I stay close to myself and my family. So that I can give everyone what is needed. Do you want to know which questions these are? Read along and take advantage of it!

  1. How am I? Think about what you feel, what you think about or worry about. What your body tells you and above all what is important to you. A mother is usually the linchpin of a family, so it's important that you ask yourself this question often. How you are doing also determines what you can handle.
  2. How are my family members? Are there (more) family members who are having trouble? Check this regularly with them.
  3. What is needed now, possibly per person? What does everyone (including yourself) need to be able to move forward? Is it rest? Or something you can buy? Or…?
  4. How am I going to do that? What's your next step? I personally deal with this very consciously and I also pray for it.
  5. When will I start? Some things have to be done quickly, some things can take a while. You know best what can and cannot be done. So think about it, make a plan and execute it! And it is very important that you call in help if you know you can't pull it yourself.

Being authentic, I find nothing more beautiful than that. I think this is going to help me stay close to myself and be more authentic. This is how authentic motherhood comes to me 'by itself'. I hope my kids will be too. That they are not guided by what others think or do, but become as they are intended.