What not to say to a mother who is chronically tired

Every mother is often tired. Especially when the kids are still small. It is part of it and at the same time it is a huge stress factor for many. Why? Because fatigue limits you in everything. Less energy for things that have to be done, but also less energy for fun things, for example. We all know that motherhood can be tough, but what if you are chronically tired as a mother?

As mothers, we often struggle on when we really only want one thing:sleep. Or just sit quietly on the couch, with or without a book. And all this without being disturbed by those cute little people of ours.

What we don't want in those moments are people's well-intentioned but thoughtless responses to our fatigue status. No matter how well-intentioned, here are a few things you shouldn't say:

What you don't want to hear when you're chronically tired

1. Are they still not sleeping through the night? You may need to spoil them less at night. They just like it too much with you.

Wait a second. Pamper? I suggest you come and see how things are going for a week. I promise you with my hand on my heart that you will take these words back.

2. Can't you structurally take extra childcare one day a week so that you can refuel and have time for yourself?

Yes! That is a good idea. Take kids away more often. Costs about €150 per day for 2 kids. Can the bill be sent to you?

3. Bring them to grandma and grandpa at the weekend. Isn't that what they are for?

Well no. That's not what they're for. Staying with grandparents every now and then is no problem. But often a weekend? New. Grandpas and grandmothers also have a life of their own and we also like to have a nice weekend with the kids.

4. Well. Then you shouldn't have started having children!

Really, whoever came up with this comment must have been childless and brainless. What nonsense. As if you know in advance how intensive your children are. Every situation and every child is different. Where one can cycle through it with ease, the other has the greatest difficulty. In any case, the first person to make this comment to me is applying for a kick against a place yet to be determined.

5. Aaaah, how annoying for you. Luckily I don't suffer from that!

Well that's very nice for you. For the rest, see the writing at point 1, and then make it a week or two, you can probably have it now that you have so much energy!

Here are five. And I realize that it doesn't even matter whether you are chronically tired or not. These comments are always annoying. There are certainly more to add. Suggestions? Leave them in a comment!

Other additions that  our readers got to hear…

• You look so tired girl! (yes, duhuh!)
• But don't you have an hour every day to exercise?
• Do think about yourself!
• But everyone is a mother, right? Then why are you so tired?