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6 tips to assert yourself in the office

1/ In meetings, ignore the gaze of others

Coach's advice*. “You have to be in the here and now. When we are in “being”, we forget how we are in relation to others. »

Decoding. Instead of focusing on what others think – or are likely to think – we really focus on what we have to say. By staying in the action, we avoid losing ground. And the day we stop imagining what others think of ourselves (95% of the films we make never happen…), we have a good self-image! The most efficient ? Immediately announce the color to your interlocutors (“I am red because I have stage fright, but generally it passes in five minutes”). This avoids focusing on stage fright and blushes less in the end.

2/ List (sincerely) his qualities

Coach's advice. “You have to love yourself in relation to what you are, what you are not, your qualities and your faults. »

Decoding. We must stop focusing on what is wrong, rely on our knowledge, qualities, skills, experience and allow ourselves the right to make mistakes. In short, accept yourself with your strengths and limitations. It's silly, but what does it feel good to hear! The extra thing:list all his qualities in writing, and reread this list with each big blow of stress.

3/ Don't be afraid to make a mistake

Coach's advice. “There is no failure, there is only learning”.

Decoding. Any effort, any risk taking automatically makes us progress. You have to succeed in transforming your failure into an experience by asking yourself why it didn't work, questioning yourself (allowing yourself the right to make mistakes) and not questioning yourself. We are asked to redo a file? Instead of thinking as usual “I really suck”, we say to ourselves “it will be better this way”. Yes, yes!

4/Learn to express what you feel

Coach's advice. “You have to listen to your emotions, express them and not control them. »

Decoding. Self-affirmation is the expression of one's emotions, but with respect for others, and without aggressiveness. We can therefore say that we feel anger, but not get angry by throwing a tantrum. Subtle!

5/ Practice active listening

Coach's advice. "Recognizing the emotion of the other helps to defuse aggression".

Decoding. There, we touch on empathy, that is to say the art of putting oneself in the shoes of the other, while listening to them in order to better understand their point of view. A true win-win relationship!

6/Dare to say no, when necessary

Coach's advice. “Knowing how to say no, justifying it, but without justifying yourself. »

Decoding. No way to say no to everything and out of place just to dare! Self-affirmation is knowing how to say no, but also knowing how to say yes. It's daring to express what we are, what we believe, what we think and what we want.

* Find out more:"Self-affirmation:to gain confidence", 2-day training + 1 day of assessment one month later. Higher Institute of Marketing, www.ism.fr.